What is a “Dark Night of the Soul”?
People talk about this phenomenon all the time, but what does it really mean, and how do you know you are experiencing it?
I believe everyone experiences their “Dark Night (or Dark Month) of the Soul” differently, but the outcome is most often the same; a deep sense of clarity and a pervasive truth that you can’t ever forget.
The “Dark Night” brings about a new way of seeing your life that you simply could not have seen before it happened.
In my experience, the revelation that occurs after this period of time feels like a shedding of a dense heavy layer of skin. Not necessarily a layer you even knew existed. It’s almost like the skin that leaves you was covered with all the shiny things you’ve spent most of your life striving to collect.
It contains all the false and limiting beliefs you’ve measured yourself and everyone around you by your whole life.
It’s the culmination of everything you ever failed at, exposed as “BS” and “crockery”.
It’s all the expectations you set for yourself and others that were never met. It’s the fairytale bologna exposed. It’s the foundation you built your life on, crumbling under the very earth you stand upon.
What you thought was true turns out to be meaningless and empty. Gosh, how depressing. Right?
I liken it to piling your plate up with every “delectable” food you ever thought would fill and please you, only to find that each morsel tastes empty … like air.
Nothing.
No satisfaction.
No joy. Totally wasted time, wasted belly space, wasted calories...Yep, it’s like that.
The catalyst for this moment will be distinct for each and every one of us, and guess what...I also believe that not everyone will experience it.
Why not?
Well, to face your darkness is hard. In fact, experiencing this “falling away” is probably one of the lowest moments you’ll know. And frankly, not everyone’s Soul is prepared for that level of darkness and truth in this lifetime. That’s okay. No judgment. Who are we to know someone else’s Soul plan?
For those of you who have, or will, or feel on the precipice of this moment…
My advice is to not resist it.
Let it happen…
Why? Why on earth would you want everything you ever thought you wanted or that was important, to disintegrate before your eyes???
I’ll tell you why…
TRUTH - CLARITY - FREEDOM -
that’s why.
Because on the other side of the darkness is light beyond words.
There is a freedom that is indescribable.
Imagine no longer living for anyone else’s expectations of you. That no matter what you are on the OUTSIDE, you finally understand that you are an amazing indescribable unique being on the inside, that is perfectly imperfect...right now.
No more living to fulfill some fake made-up societal belief.
On the other side of this darkness is freedom from addiction, from self-abuse, from living a constant lie to meet some imaginary bar that who knows who set.
I suppose this is the non-duality the Buddhist community speaks of. The moment of Nirvana every meditator seeks. It’s the state of oneness with Source…But, it’s nothing like I expected. There are no pyrotechnics, no fireworks, no fairy dust. However, there is a sense of peace in the realization that none of the shit you’ve worried forever about really matters.
For me, it’s a reckoning.
It’s redefining my legacy.
When I’m gone, how do I want to be remembered?
Because, friends, we are all leaving this earth at some point. We can’t know when, but we can know we will. Do I want to be known for a title or an accomplishment? Or, do I want to live on forever in the hearts of those who I loved without abandon, and without fear of rejection?
Do I want to influence generations beyond me to strive for some unattainable fake level of something that doesn’t really exist, or do I want to teach this generation to be REAL, to not hide behind some false expectation or fairy tale they’ll never achieve?
How do I want my great-grandchildren to recall me? “Wow, my grandma really loved her family and she did her best…she lived a great life.”
To me, that is a legacy.
As I emerge from my own darkness, I imagine that this is how a baby chick feels as it peeks out of the cracked shell. I don’t have my footing yet, but I know I’m being asked to change and to move forward. I’m called to leave the shell of my former life behind, and walk forward, straight into the blinding light.
What exactly that will look like? I’m not sure. I’m not afraid though, because, at least I know It’s real...no more facades.
I don’t have to pretend to feel things I don’t anymore.
I won’t kid myself into believing that I need to be something for someone else other than who I already am.
I won’t measure myself by what I “have” or “achieved”, and I definitely won’t hide behind food, behavior or substance that keeps me from feeling the truth.
Those things only delay the inevitable. Hiding behind something, be it work, an actual substance, a computer, an exercise routine, a phone, a guru - it only delays the truth.
Maybe this is where the legend of superheroes really came from. Once you move through this “Dark Night”, you realize that you truly do have superpowers…
We realize that all the things that we used as excuses and reasons why we “couldn’t” - no longer have any power over us.
The glass ceilings are shattered. The false lies are exposed.
There is no more kryptonite.
Since this “phenomenon” of the Dark Night is so personal and individual, the only advice I can really offer is not to “fight” it.
ALLOW the sadness to wash over you and watch it slowly move through and away.
FEEL your emotions, yet recognize, they aren’t who you are! Your Soul is STILL shimmering, dancing, gliding through the ether, even while you feel like crawling back into the broken shell.
You are NOT the failures you punish yourself for.
You are NOT the emotions that bring you to your knees.
You are LOVE, pure and simple.
You are ONE with me, with your neighbor, with every other single human being who is navigating this thing we call life.
Everything outside of us that we measure ourselves by is an illusion - the title, the size of the bank account, the fame.
What does matter is your legacy...not an accumulation of wealth or stuff, but how you lived, whether or not you figured out the illusion before it was too late, and whether or not you lived in alignment with your Soul.
Only YOU know what that feels like.
So if you too are moving through the darkness. know that you are not alone.
Try not to be afraid. But if you are, it’s okay. I am too.
Try not to feel depressed, but if you do, go with it. Stop - Drop - and Hug yourself.
Imagine how the little chick feels when the egg they’ve been forming in cracks open. Everything they knew crumbles before them.
It’s okay to be sad, scared, angry, hurt, and feel duped…
But don’t stay there for long.
You can’t put the shell back together.
It’s time to LIVE for real now.
Don’t hide from it. Don’t run away from it. But do be gentle with yourself as you navigate your new way forward.
AUTHOR: Laurie-Elle is an OSYL Higher Self Messenger, Intuitive Energy Healer, Guide, Akashic Channel, Spirit Medium & Reiki Master.
Her main purpose in this lifetime is to help you hear the whispers, the cues, and yes, even the roar of the Universe. She shares the information that will lead you to more JOY, more ABUNDANCE, and to experience a greater sense of PEACE in your life. Find out more about Laurie and her services HERE.
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