Returning to Love, again…
Oftentimes, what keeps us from breaking out into the world is our fear and false and limiting beliefs. I know that firsthand because I struggled with this for years.
I have finally realized who I am as a spiritual practitioner and how I can be help people, but it wasn't always clear for me.
I moved through many different iterations of my own spiritual awakening. I've worked with more teachers than I can count on my hands and toes. And, I've worked on myself - breaking down each wounded part of me into tiny little pieces.
I've analyzed them.
I've spent time and money healing.
I've lingered long and languished in suffering.
I've repeated patterns over and over again, just to make sure I'm “really clear or really healed”.
I've been on top of the mountain and I've been buried under piles of dirt - again and again; each time learning something new - remembering my truths - then forgetting it again.
Feeling painful memories, thoughts of dejection, rejection, and failure, but also feeling incredibly powerful and purposeful - having a strong vision to give back to humanity in a huge way.
I now come to a moment - the precipice of all I’ve experienced til’ now.
I see who I really am.
I am a perfectly imperfect human with lots of flaws and misgivings. But, with a heart of love, that when turned on, opened up, and aimed - with zero expectations - can heal and change lives.
That's a powerful recognition.
It took me almost 50 years to get a glimpse of who I always was - a pure expression of love, not separate from you or her or that other person over there.
We all are one.
And when I allow love to lead my life, my choices, my words, my actions, my next best steps, then, and only then do I even come close to feeling the peace, serenity, and light I've longed to feel since I can remember.
In the past, I’ve tried to solve problems with intellect, with manipulation, by begging and pleading, with force, or by being mean.
I’ve suppressed myself and others.
I’ve wallowed in apathy.
Sometimes these things work, but never for long.
What are you really cheering for???
Restriction closes hearts, manipulation closes hearts, shaming, guilting, pushing, and sometimes even cheering - as in cheering too loudly for someone because the true intention behind the cheer is to change them!
All of these things cause resistance and actually add more distance. But love does the opposite. When you aim with love and acceptance, instead of judgment, anger, guilt, shame, or trying to make someone pay for betrayal or whatever it is, anything becomes possible - even healing. But the opposite is true as well.
No love, no healing.
God/ Universe/ Source has been trying to tell me, as far back and as long as I can remember, that I will never get, have, hold, possess or feel what I want to get, have hold possess, and feel until love is within me.
I want to share my gift of sight - of channeling - with the world, in a way that transforms lives, opens hearts, and heals wounds.
And Spirit reminds me that…
the world will never “receive it” until I let love 100% into the process - until I give it all my love and do it for no other reason than love.
I want to do what I love every day for work.
I want to receive all the financial abundance I need and desire from that work.
And I know that I'll have that - when I put love into my work first; loving what I'm doing with the intention of love behind all my decisions and actions .
Letting go of thinking…
what can I get?
What do I deserve?
Instead, replacing that with what can I give? And then, giving it with love - beyond measure. That's when I can have what I dream of.
I want my relationships to be peaceful, purposeful, and loving,
And the important relationships I speak of, will not shift or heal until I shift or heal - until I give love first - until I practice forgiveness and acceptance first.
If all I want is for the ones I love, to love me as I am, then I must love them as they are.
I'm not telling anyone to stay in a harmful or abusive situation. I'm saying, love yourself, love yourself wildly, love your imperfections, love your idiosyncrasies.
What would you have your son or daughter do then give that same advice to You!
Whatever you deem as ‘not right’ about you and ‘not love’ actually acts as a mirror. You’ll see those same things in others.
And sometimes chasing radical self-love might mean leaving a toxic relationship.
I often think if, if I would just ask, “What would LOVE do?” I would know what to do.
For example, if you're a mom, ask yourself, “What would you tell your child to do?”
When we love someone unconditionally like moms love their children, we can use that as a measurement of how we should speak to ourselves.
What would you have your son or daughter do -then give that same advice to You!
After countless years of trying to fix me, find myself, and repair brokenness, I am once again, reminded that love isn't a choice for me. It's the only answer.
For in the absence of love. Suffering will always find me.
I'm even reminded to love my negative thoughts and suffering.
“Oh, how much compassion I have for my mind. The part of my programming that always wants me to think I'm not enough, or that I have to work harder or be someone or something I'm not to feel better.
Oh, how much love can I send to my mindless chatter?”
I guess I'll have to find out.
So I return to how I began this stream of consciousness.
It takes me a very long time to once again, return to love. I've worked every angle of a spiritual awakening.
I've wanted to linger in the clouds and wallow in the Muck.
No matter where I find myself on the journey, I can eventually say, that when I'm in the state of love - when I'm giving it, receiving it, expecting nothing, but open to anything, that is when I'm whole.
That is when I'm true to myself.
That is when I am in divine, perfect alignment, flaws, and all.
And even then, what some might think of as flaws - are they even really flaws?
Through the lens of LOVE, they are me and I'm them, therefore I think that makes them perfect.
So today I will remember that, without infusing love into all I do, I won't get what I desire. I will get more of what is outside of love.
It's just how it works.
And no matter what I strive for, if my heart is not vibrating love, I will never feel the satisfaction I long for.
It will continue to allude me - yet again.
Today I choose love. And, today I also choose that I don't need to repeat this lesson.
I already know the answer to the questions:
Why am I suffering?
Why am I sad?
Why am I empty, angry, hurt, snubbed, resentful, and in lack?
Why are things out of reach?
Why am I in denial?
Why am I being rejected?
Why are other people behaving the way they're behaving? Et Cetera, et cetera…
For me, the answer's always love.
Spirit reminds me…”Turn your love lens on Laurie and everything looks, feels, and seems oh, so much better. “
Sending love and light,
Laurie Elle.
GIVE YOURSELF THE PERMISSION TO LIVE JOYFULLY!!!
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AUTHOR: Laurie-Elle is a Wayshower - someone that helps YOU find the way to and on YOUR individual life path.
Laurie is a Higher Self Messenger, Intuitive Energy Healer, Guide, Akashic Records Channel, and Reiki Master. Her role is to help you understand the cues, whispers, and even the Universe's roar. She imparts the knowledge that leads to more joy, abundance, and a greater sense of peace in your life.
Find out more about Laurie and her services HERE.