I’ll never forget reading the header on my pregnancy blood work report - “Elderly Multigravida.”
Elderly? That’s ludicrous.
I laugh now as I recall this, but remember thinking to myself, “If I’m so elderly, how did I get pregnant?” Apparently, any mother who is over the age of 35 and has had more than one pregnancy, is bestowed with this title, but nevertheless, it was shocking to read at the time.
As I reflect on that title I was granted, I do see some benefits to the experiences that have come with being an “elderly” new mom. Giving birth to my daughter at age 43, impacted my life in ways I never imagined. This time around, not only do I feel like a more competent mother, but I feel like a better human being.
The gratitude and grace I experience as a result of her being in my life have changed me forever.
Twelve and fifteen years ago, I gave birth to two beautiful boys. With some sadness in my heart, I can tell you that when my sons were born, part of me took being a mom for granted. In fact, when I recall being a new mom to my two boys, I remember how busy and frenzied I felt. Back then, I was caught up in trying to balance my life and struggled keeping up with all the other “roles” I tried so hard to master: career woman, business owner, student, wife, friend, sister, and daughter. Often times, I found myself stuck in the “muck and mire” of my myriad of “problems,” and wasn’t aware of or in touch with the purpose my life was meant to serve.
If I were to spend too much time dwelling on that time in my life, I might find myself caught up in remorse or regret for what I didn’t experience or don’t remember experiencing. Thankfully, in my now “advanced maternal age,” I’ve come to understand forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness. Additionally, as I journeyed on a path of spiritual growth and awareness, I’ve since come to learn the priceless value in letting go of what was, and accepting what is.
I'll share a fun fact with you; I knew my daughter was waiting for me. Three years ago, in the midst of a time of personal turmoil, I went to an Angel Card reader (Heather Tharpe, now one of our Beautiful Soulful Practitioners for Our Sight Your Light). My husband and I were going through a terrible separation and were headed for divorce. I went to the reading looking for some guidance as to how to move forward, but I was in for a surprise. The card reader told me there was a soul waiting for me, a daughter named Sophia. She told me that I could choose to bring her forth in this lifetime if I wanted to. I couldn’t help but wonder how that was going to happen. I was almost 42, divorcing my husband, and had zero plans of ever touching another man again, never mind having a baby with one! Clearly, the Universe had another plan for me. Two months later, when my husband and I miraculously reconciled, I knew bringing our baby girl into the world was now a possibility, if not a spiritual requirement.
I began to understand the magnitude of gratitude when I tried getting pregnant. When I had my boys, getting pregnant was easy and fast, it felt like it happened through osmosis! With Sophia, it took more than six months. I remember worrying, “What if I can't get pregnant? What if I’m too old?” Joyfully, it happened; all that practice paid off! The memory of discovering I was pregnant is etched in my mind. It was early on, and I thought that maybe I should keep it to myself for a few more weeks, but I couldn't contain my joy. I immediately called my husband. We celebrated for days and were truly grateful, however, gratitude took on a new meaning about three-quarters of the way through my pregnancy.
At a routine appointment, we learned that Sophia had a heart issue. That day changed everything. Fear and faith took over; the fear that she was sick, that she wouldn't make it, and the faith that all was well, it had to be. Test after test, ultrasound after ultrasound, just hearing the beat of her heart produced overwhelming feelings of gratitude. For the remainder of my pregnancy, I was filled with thankfulness each and every time I felt her kick and knew she was alive and well. This was the first real gift. I now understood gratitude as I never had before. One year later, I continue to practice gratitude daily, not just for her, but for everything in my life. Her smile, her laugh, her beating heart, are all daily reminders of her gift.
The next gift I received as an “elderly” mom, is that I finally understood the high price I paid by being so busy. I used to believe my accomplishments would measure my worth. My work title, my education status, and the size of my bank account were once fairly important to me, but once Sophia was born, healthy and vibrant, I started seeing these things through a new lens. Once she was in my arms, I was forced to contemplate how and where I was spending my time, and I started seeing what time was really worth to me. I questioned everything. Did I really want to go back to work? Did I really want to miss out on time with her?
Through eyes of gratitude, I couldn't see leaving her two hours a week, never mind 40. I had originally planned to take four months of maternity leave, and that quickly turned into a year. When that year-long period was coming to a close, I knew in my heart I had only one choice. In June of 2016, that maternity leave turned in my final resignation. This gift, this realization that holding on to a conventional job was no longer an option, catapulted me to find a way to contribute financially to my family, but in a new way.
I started building my intuitive energy healing practice, and more recently I launched my vision for a beautiful healing collective, Our Sight Your Light. Both are growing and thriving. Having Sophia was like being handed a “life reset button.” I was given the gift of a taking a natural break in my career, which allowed me to take the leap from educator to full-on spiritual mama-preneur. Gratefully, most people did not question me, or at least not to my face. Even if they had, I’m not sure it would have mattered. My heart and mind were set. Thankfully, I have my husband's support, so it made deciding this so much easier.
Lastly, I would say one of the most precious gifts I’ve received from being an “elderly” mom, was learning how to “be in the moment.” When I'm with Sophia, I try to be present. I'm not saying I never multitask, I do as it's my nature, but I am aware of her. I cherish her growing body, her forming teeth, her adorable giggle and her gorgeous smile. I know this is the last baby I'll ever have, so I cherish her. I cherish the little things, and not only with her, but I find that I cherish more with all my children. My two boys and my two bonus children absolutely love her. I watch how they interact and how they see her through eyes of wonder and love.
My baby allowed me to open up and receive the gifts of gratitude, time freedom, and presence.
For this, I am forever grateful and humbled. When I perform the roles my family requires from me, sometimes cook, cleaning lady, laundry professional, and official Uber driver, I do my best to practice gratitude and presence. I’m no longer resentful or angry that I have to waste time on such mundane affairs; instead, I am aware that I’m contributing in a very important way to my family. My time, my attention and my presence mean something. My life is not exactly how I once envisioned it would be, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
My path is not for everyone, but gratitude, assessing where and how you spend your time, and being in the moment whenever possible, in my opinion, are applicable across the board. There are countless ways to recognize and apply these gifts in our lives, whatever our circumstances may look like.
We can choose gratitude over lack or resentment.
We can make the most of the time we have by choosing to spend our free time doing things that nourish our soul.
We can choose to be in the moment, whenever possible, and wherever we may be.
I’ve come to understand that when expressing gratitude, valuing time, and practicing awareness, it's the quality that matters, not the quantity. In opening up to these gifts, you may see your life through a new lens as well.
Practicing GRATITUDE is a wonderful habit to get into and you will be amazed how it will change your life & perspective. Join us every Thursday on facebook for #ThankfulThursday where we will share and hold each other accountable for gratitude.
AUTHOR: Laurie-Elle is an OSYL Higher Self Messenger, Intuitive Energy Healer, Intuitive Guide, Akashic Records Channel & Reiki Master. Her main purpose in this lifetime is to help you hear the whispers, the cues, and yes, even the roar of the Universe. She shares the information that will lead you to more JOY, more ABUNDANCE and to experience a greater sense of PEACE in your life.
Find out more about Laurie and her services HERE.